Without further adieu, I hereby present Atlanta's Information Technology Manager of the Year award to Michael Collins![CLAPPING]MR. COLLINS: Thank you...Jim, thank you everyone. I'd also like to bring onto stage the three most important people in my life; Julie, Chip, and Becky for were it not for their enviable patience and understanding, I could never have...[LOUD NOISE]MR. COLLINS: ... never have...WOMAN ON STAGE: Michael? What's wrong?MR. COLLINS: Malfunction.[MAN STARTS TO JERK WILDLY, THEN. As these are real people, their cases are not listed here for judgment but more as a litmus paper to assess your own lifestyle. Patient One, the sportsman: This young man came to me only after his wife caught him in a dalliance with a young lady of some ill repute. His first words to me were that he didn’t feel he had a problem but came to me only to try to appease his wife. He said he had tried to deny his affair with her but had accidentally left damaging evidence on his cell phone. It just. ’ ‘You’ve never been in the joint?’ ‘Well, not for an extended period of time like you and your friends have, Vinnie.’ ‘When I got out of the big house, Rosie was all dolled up for me, you know.’ Vinnie stuck his hands in his pockets and at that point, I knew I was in for a long story. ‘Well, I had been boning a fag up the ass for so long in the joint that it was only natural when I came home that I flipped Rosie over and stuck it up her ass, too. Well, she was so pissed at me. She started. Béla stopped in mid-stride and looked down at herself. There was blood running down her belly from a half-inch-wide hole just under her rib cage.“The son-of-a-bitch shot me!” she exclaimed. ‘It must have happened when I clapped my wings together on his head!’“Who shot you?” Frank asked, anxiously looking around the bar. He saw someone moving quickly toward the entrance. He was heading away from the Target Room. “Jake! Stop him!” Frank shouted, pointing at the swiftly moving stranger.Jake turned.
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